


More Than This

by writingintheclouds



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Edward curses a lot, Hate to Love, M/M, Wrong Number AU, kinda?? idek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-01 03:46:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10913679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingintheclouds/pseuds/writingintheclouds
Summary: Edward accidentally texts the wrong number.(What he doesn't know... it's his professor's.)





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> **Edward**
> 
> roy 
> 
> _Alphonse_

**Friday evening**

**(8:15 pm): hey i'm groceries shopping do u need anything**

(8:17 pm): Pineapple Pizza, please. 

**(8:19 pm): wtf?!**

(8:20 pm): What? 

**(8:20 pm): since when do u put pineapples on ur pizza?!! ur sick man**

(8:20 pm): We've covered this topic too many times; I'm not getting into another pointless discussion with you. Just get me my pizza. 

**(8:21 pm): lol i can't remember u ever mentioning pineapple pizza but fine.. i s2g putting fruit on pizza should be illegal**

(8:21 pm): Well, technically speaking, tomatoes are a fruit. 

**(8:25 pm): fcking smartass. anyway, do u know when winry's coming tonight?**

(8:27 pm): Who's Winry? 

**(8:30 pm): u know who i mean quit playing dumb u idiot**

(8:31 pm): I really don't know who you're talking about, Hughes. 

**(8:31 pm): hughes?? wtf al sTOP messing with your brother**

(8:32 pm): ... It appears you have texted the wrong number. 

**(8:32 pm): WHAT????? UR NOT ALPHONSE?**

(8:33 pm): No, I'm not. 

**(8:33 pm): FUCK**

**(8:33 pm): THEN WHY DID I JUST BUY THE FUCKING PINEAPPLE PIZZA**

(8:34 pm): I'd say I'm sorry... but I'm not. 

**(8:34 pm): YOU BASTARD**

(8:34 pm): You happen to have quite a short temper there. Or is insulting people a hobby of yours? 

**(8:34 pm): WHO ARE U CALLING SHORT ????**

(8:35 pm): I said short TEMPERED. 

**(8:35 pm): i quit..... this night couldn't get any WORSE**

(8:35 pm): There are actually a lot of things worse than buying pineapple pizza or messaging the wrong number. 

(8:35 pm): Getting stabbed to death, for example. 

**(8:36 pm): wow this is not fucking creepy at all**

**(8:36 pm): plus that's not what i'm talking about i still have an assignment that i need to finish. that's the equivalent of getting stabbed to death tbh**

(8:37 pm): Quite the procastinator as well. I see. 

**(8:37 pm): wHY THE FUCK AM I STILL TEXTING U??**

(8:39 pm): I know a lot of things, but that I don't. 

**(8:39 pm): BYE stranger who made me buy fucking PINEAPPLE PIZZA i h8 u**

**(8:39 pm): i hope u rot in HELL**

(8:40 pm): Likewise. It's been a pleasure. 

.  
.  
.

"Fucking hell," Edward cursed under his breath as he stumbled into the flat he and his little brother were sharing, trying to carry the five bags of groceries with only two hands. 

"Good evening, brother," an all too familiar voice welcomed him from the living room. "Do you need any help?"

"I'm not the one who will be needing help," he muttered darkly. Alphonse appeared at the doorframe with a tired smile.  
"Geez, Ed, how many energy drinks did you buy?" 

Instead of giving an answer, Edward just shot him a scowl. 

"You should really stop pulling so many all-nighters," Al rebuked. "It's not good for your health. And why didn't you text me that you went for groceries?"

"I did, but you saved the wrong number into my phone!" Without any more words, Ed handed him his phone.  
Al gave him a surprised look. "Really? Let me see... ah, the last digit is wrong. Here you go, I fixed it."

"How was work today?" Edward asked, suddenly realizing that the last proper conversation he had with his brother had been at least a week ago. Although they lived together, they rarely saw, nevermind _spent_ time together. Al's job was quite time consuming and Edward spent most of his days studying since his exams were coming up soon. 

"All right, I guess, though I messed up the... _is this pineapple pizza?"_ Alphonse asked in utter confusion. 

Rolling his eyes, Edward shoved the damn pizza into the freezer. "Long story," he replied curtly. "If you don't mind, I'll start with this stupid assignment now..."

"Wait - isn't the deadline tomorrow?" 

Edward nodded. 

"And didn't you say you're getting a new professor who's known to be, like, super strict and stuff?"

Edward made a face like he had just bitten into a lemon.

"You're as good as dead, brother."

_I know, Alphonse,_ Edward thought bitterly as he opened the first energy drink. _I fucking know._


	2. I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **edward**
> 
>  
> 
> roy
> 
> _al_

**Saturday**

**(7:15 am): oh my god**

**(7:15 am): it just occured to me**

**(7:15 am): what if you're a 12 yr old girl**

(7:23 am): Who is this?

**(7:23 am): oh come on you must remember me**

(7:24 am): To what do I owe the honour of getting a message from you again?

**(7:25 am): i get the feeling you're being sarcastic...**

(7:25 am): You're not the brightest bulb in the box.

**(7:26 am): you know what**

**(7:26 am): fuck you**

**(7:26 am): and here i was ready to apologize**

(7:27 am): Correct me if I'm wrong, but in what universe is "what if you're a 12 yr old girl" an appropriate way to start an apology?

**(7:27 am): i didn't get to the apology part u twat!!**

**(7:27 am): i mean, if ur a young child or something i'm really sorry for attacking u like that it wasn't nice. and u probably don't deserve to rot in hell**

(7:28 am): Did I get this right - you're apologizing for your unappropriate behaviour, but only if I'm a child, is that correct?

**(7:29 am): yeah**

**(7:29 am): tho i doubt ur actually a child bc ur way of texting is too antiquated**

(7:30 am): What a brilliant deduction.

**(7:30 am): oh god**

**(7:30 am): what if you're not a 12 yr old girl..... but a 50 yr old pedophile**

(7:31 am): To ease your concern, I'm only a decade or so older than you.

**(7:32 am): how do u know how old i am??????**

**(7:32 am): STALKER**

(7:33 am): Or just someone who is blessed with more intelligence than you.

**(7:34 am): how do u know how old i am**

(7:34 am): Well, last time you mentioned an assignment you need to finish, and given the time and day you texted me, plus your way of expressing yourself makes it quite clear to me that you're a male college student, probably around the age of 18 to 23.

**(7:34 am): what the fuck**

**(7:35 am): i could be female you stupid know-it-all**

(7:35 am): Are you a woman?

**(7:36 am): ...**

(7:36 am): Are you?

**(7:36 am): no**

(7:37 am): My intuition was right once again.

**(7:37 am): are YOU?**

(7:37 am): A woman? No, but I've had plenty of them in my bed.

**(7:38 am): what**

**(7:38 am): the**

**(7:38 am): fuck**

**(7:38 am): I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS INFORMATION ??????????**

(7:39 am): Have you at least finished your assignment?

**(7:39 am): why do u care PERVERT**

(7:39 am): I don't. I simply need some distraction from the pile of paper work I need to finish, and you're a nice alternation.

(7:40 am): First a stalker, now a pervert? I'd prefer the term classy.

**(7:42 am): looks like we're both procastinators**

**(7:42 am): but at least I finished my work haha >:)**

**(7:42 am): what's your job anyway?**

(7:43 am): Guess.

**(7:43 am): c'mon, that's not fair! it could be anything :(**

(7:43 am): Incorrect. Not all jobs entail paper work.

**(7:44 am): okok... a lawyer?**

(7:44 am): Try again.

**(7:44 am): uhh.. an administrator?**

(7:45 am): No. Too dull.

**(7:45 am): a teacher?????**

(7:45 am): Close enough. Teaching's part of my job.

**(7:45 am): yikes**

**(7:46 am): stay away from me**

(7:46 am): Kind of difficult since you keep texting me.

(7:46 am): Let me guess: you should be doing something important as well, but you're not.

**(7:47 am): actually no, i finally finished my paper**

**(7:48 am): but i have class in half an hour or so and can't allow myself to sleep**

(7:48 am): If you stayed awake the whole night mustn't you be tired? Or are you in a different time zone?

**(7:50 am): i am tired and no it's almost 8**

**(7:50 am): but if i fall asleep now i won't be able to wake up fml**

(7:50 am): Fml?

**(7:53 am): fuck my life, u old grandpa**

**(7:53 am): why r u up so early anway???**

(7:54 am): I stayed up doing research.

**(7:54 am): ah i see**

**(7:54 am): well g2g now i can't afford being late**

(7:54 am): Is your professor that strict?

**(7:55 am): yeah apparently**

**(7:55 am): we're getting a new one.. our former professor is prohibited from work bc of pregnancy**

(7:56 am): Then I wish you the best of luck. I've had my fair share of annoying professors as well.

**(7:57 am): thx. back in the old days when u were still a student**

(7:57 am): It wasn't that long ago.

**(7:58 am): whatevs... t2ul**

.  
.  
.

**(10:22 am): THAT FUKCIGN CONCEITED DICKFACED EXCUSE OF A HUMAN BEING**

**(10:22 am): I WANT TO SHOVE A FUCKING CACTUS DOWN HIS ASSHOLE**

(10:30 am): Excuse me?

(10:30 am): Are you talking about your new professor?

**(10:32 am): OH YES I AM FUKCHFIGN i'M SO ANGRY ORIGHT NOW YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND**

(10:33 am): Oh, I do, your inability to spell properly makes it clear.

**(10:33 am): this fucking uneducated goose piss**

(10:33 am): I'm... honestly a bit confused why you're texting me out of all people.

**(10:33 am): idek tbh .. bc my brother and winry both disapprove with my way of articulating myself i guess**

****

****

**(10:33 am): he's such a pile of wombat shit tho**

(10:35 am): All right, all right. What kind of inexcusable deadly sin did he commit?

(10:35 am): Did he call you short?

**(10:36 am): ...................**

**(10:36 am): WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT**

(10:36 am): I guessed. Short men tend to be grumpy and aggressive. Which you obviously are.

**(10:36 am): how the FUCK do you know all that**

**(10:36 am): oh my god**

**(10:36 am): you're STALKING ME YOU CREEP!!!!!!!**

**(10:36 am): how else would you know i'm small**

**(10:36 am): I MEAN NO I**

**(10:36 am): i AM NOT SMALL!!!!!!**

**(10:36 am): forget i texted that!!!**

**(10:36 am): FYI I am AVERAGE HEIGHT !!!!!**

**(10:36 am): I'M NOT GRUMPY NOR AM I AGGRESSIVE OR SHORT**

(10:38 am): If you could say that once more, but this time without screaming, I might even believe you. 

**(10:39 am): i'm NEVER talking to you again GOODBYE**

(10:40 am): It was an absolute pleasure talking to you again. 

**(10:42 am): sarcastic shithead**

.  
.  
.

**(3:10 pm): winry just called me to say that she's forcing us both to a party tonight**

**(3:10 pm): i know you don't like that kind of stuff so i wanted to spare you the agony**

_(3:33 pm): Thanks for the warning brother. I'll stay a bit longer at work tonight._

_(3:34 pm): Drink responsibly._

**(3:34 pm): um I'M the older brother that's supposed to be my line, al**

_(3:45 pm): Just because you're older doesn't mean you're more mature._

_(3:45 pm): Or taller..._

**(3:45 pm): FUCK YOU AL**

**(3:45 pm): I'M NEVER HELPING U OUT AGAIN**

_(3:54 pm): Love you too, Ed._


End file.
